To Be A Man Today

I found myself drawn to the fact that the men in the United States are being lead down a path of destruction. Now, before I get into it: Let me lay a groundwork disclaimer. I absolutely in no way, shape, or form condone the misguided masculinity of the uber machismo sect of mankind. I do however think that we men, have lost our guidance into the male continuum. Our fathers had people like, John Wayne, James Bond, General George S. Patton, etc... To look up to in order to find those male traits. Do those men epitomize masculinity and manhood? Probably not, 2/3 are fictional characters - and I for one got annoyed with Bond quite a few times. But...I do think that we've lost our male heroes.

Look in the media, the movies, books - strong men are on the decline. They're demonized, turned into fiends - abrasive, obtuse, stubborn and anti-social. Where are the warriors? The sect of mankind that the young braves look up to in order to find their way? They've been gelded by the forces that would rather have passive, patient men.

Is it wrong to be patient? No. Is it wrong to be passive? There are times where passivity and serenity have their places. But it begs the question - Is it wrong to be aggressive? Perhaps all the time. Is it wrong to run out of patience and do something bold? I'd beg you to say absolutely not. Then why are we being forced that direction?

Now I do not in any way try to make the argument that women are doing this to men. In fact, for women I have to think it'd be fairly frustrating to have a man by your side that acted more like a woman than you did. Where have all the cowboys gone, and all that? Better lyrics would have been, "Where have all the MEN gone?" In fact I believe quite to the contrary - I believe that men are doing this to men. We're all confused and try in every way to hide the fact that we're not sure how to "be a man."

I think this becomes very apparent when a group of friends spend time around each other. If what the friends are doing is even remotely considered masculine, you'll have one guy putting all the pressure on the others to "act like me..." This gives that guy the feeling that he's being a man that every other man wants to be like. For the others, it's a test of their manhood, so regardless of what that task is - they feel compelled to respond. The proverbial "pissing" contest.

So what's so bad about that? Is that not how boys act, growing up? It is, that's true. But you have the blind leading the blind. Little boys used to do things they'd see the Lone Ranger do - who do they have to look up to now? Emeril? So young boys look up to their fathers. The difference is, the fathers are busy being fathers - which is distinctly different than being a man. It takes a strong man to be a father, I'm not trying to downplay the role of the father; what I am trying to say is that a Young Man, and a Father are two entirely separate roles - and such have different requirements and roles.

On this topic I have no words of wisdom, no answers to questions - I just have questions upon questions. I am one of the lost-boys.